Liberate Yourself Through Self Forgiveness

I woke up yesterday morning in great form, with a feeling of appreciation for all the goodness in my life. The sun was even shining which one never takes for granted when you live in Ireland.  image

After my early morning cup of tea and a snuggle with my wonderful partner, it was then time to rise and shine.

After checking emails and playing with Facebook, I realised that it was ‘World Suicide Day’.  It felt right to search online for something inspirational to post, and in doing so, I came across an excellent YouTube link with a strong message of hope. As I have worked in the area of mental health promotion and suicide prevention, I took the opportunity to write a short intro to the link before posting it on Facebook.

Shortly after posting my message, and for no apparent reason, I felt a dramatic drop in my mood.  There was a weird sensation across my chest which felt like a deep sense of sadness, and my shoulders felt as though there was something heavy on them.  I had intended going to my son’s rugby match in the afternoon but at that stage, I neither had the energy or enthusiasm for facing anyone.

Instead, I decided to retreat to what I refer to as my ‘Cuan Aingeal’ (Angels’ Harbour) which is a room in the attic of our home that’s full of angelic symbols, candles, light, and a picture of the Divine Mercy.  It’s my special place where I go to sit with myself and God.image

I’d been sitting there quietly for several hours, and slowly the truth of my discomfort that morning emerged and began to show itself to me.

This is from my intro to the YouTube post from earlier that morning:

“If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that it’s not the big gestures that have the most profound effect on people’s lives, it’s more likely to be an act of pure kindness or thoughtfulness.

It’s being interested enough to truly see someone and ask, “how are you”, and being willing enough to hear their response. 

It’s about seeing the person as they are at that moment, rather than how you’ve experienced them in the past.  

It’s being “big enough” to let go of past grievances and greet them from a place of love and forgiveness.

It’s being able to see the person in front of you as a human being who in many ways may mirror your own internal struggle with life……only difference is that you keep it all in but they let it all hang out; or not, as the case may be.

It’s about seeing that little spark of light that’s in everybody. Simply put – it’s about unconditional love.

We never know when our thoughtfulness or thoughtlessness is likely to make a significant difference to someone else’s life. I’ve learned that for my own peace of mind, it’s best not to gamble”.

As I sat in silence in Cuan Aingeal, it became painfully obvious to me that the above thoughts were my own wishful psychological projections. It was nothing other than my hope to be seen, heard, forgiven, included, and most of all…….respected,  loved and accepted.

It was my own projection of things that I hugely value but which at times, for whatever reason, can be in short supply both internally, and as a result, externally. As I grow older I have come to the conclusion that one can never underestimate the importance of kindness, thoughtfulness, inclusion, forgiveness, and unconditional love – both towards ourselves and others.

There is a vulnerability that comes with a realisation of this kind, and to be perfectly honest, it doesn’t sit easily with me, not at all! But, it seems to me that in order to transcend it, there’s a need to be willing to first and foremost – see it, sit with it, express it, and most importantly…….move on.

It’s my understanding that what brought me into the depths of sadness yesterday was nothing other than my sudden awareness of the discrepancy that exists between what I desire and the current reality of a situation. Isn’t it amazing that nothing other than that simple realisation was responsible for the way that I was feeling?

The wonderful thing about ‘realisations’ is that they’re generated by the mind. The solution is simple – see the thought and make a conscious decision to have a different thought. If it’s not a thought that brings joy, that’s an opportunity to make a different choice.

If there are people in our lives who have a need to hold our past against us, and they’re unable to see us in a loving light at this moment in time – it may be necessary, for all concerned, to be brave enough to let go of those people. We must trust that, if, or when the time is right, they’ll find their way back to us again.

In my experience, the way in which we let go of these situations is of the utmost importance. Particularly if there is a perceived hurt involved, as in those circumstances it’s easy to walk away in anger, and slam the door shut; but in my humble opinion that’s the coward’s way out.

There is another option though, and that’s to gently move away, but to do so with love and compassion in our hearts, whilst leaving the door wide open, with a light on, so that those we care about can see it from a distance. We can also make a silent promise to offer a warm embrace full of unconditional love, whenever those we cherish choose to return to us again.

In the meantime, it’s important to take good care of ourselves; and remember to leave the outcome of all situations in the capable hands of God. 🙏🏻

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One Response to “Liberate Yourself Through Self Forgiveness

  • Caroline, your insights are so full of light I can feel your soul xx

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