Reaching Out…………

Imagine my confusion when, in my mid-20s, I realised that not everyone is able or willing to remember their childhood. image

Up until that point in my life, I genuinely thought that because I had vivid memories of my childhood, so, too, did everyone else have clear memories of their childhood. To find out otherwise was shocking to me. It was almost as monumental an experience as when I first realised that Santa was just a fictional character. I even wondered if people were lying to me.

In my case, I have a number of clear and distinct memories from my childhood. Some of those memories and the feelings associated with them could be described as happy – but not all memories from that time in my life have positive thoughts and feelings attached to them.

One of those experiences was the consistent message that was given to me: “you keep your mouth shut”, or, “remember, you say nothing”.

If the truth is told, there was never much chance of that happening because I’ve always had a tendency to speak my mind; however, there was a high price to be paid for instilling that message in a little girl.  image

As a result of “trying” to keep a “lid” on my thoughts and emotions, I developed coping mechanisms that were effective for a period of time, but I had to learn the hard way that those coping mechanisms were extremely unhealthy ways of dealing with life.

It took me numerous years of heartache and therapy, along with being close to death on a number of occasions, before I finally managed to reach out and to see some light. It took time, but I managed to shake off the fear of being punished or chastised for opening my mouth or speaking my truth, and I eventually found a way of being able to live in the world without hurting myself or anyone else.

Another valuable lesson that I’ve also learned from that overall experience is the importance of being able and willing to ask for other people’s emotional support. It has to be said that it’s a great bonus, and a terrific feeling, if others are able to respond positively, but the most important aspect is to be courageous enough to be able to reach out.

It took me many decades to figure this one out – we’re not responsible for how other people choose to perceive us; or the way in which they decide to respond to us, or not, as the case may be.  image

As I steadily work my way through ‘A Course in Miracles’ it seems to me that a peaceful life is possible; but we need to be at least willing to forgive whatever we perceive as unloving (people, actions, situations) in our lives; and at the same time, extend unconditional love.

Is it simple? In my experience, most certainly not. But I’d rather die trying than not give it my best shot! 🙏🏻

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3 Responses to “Reaching Out…………

  • You’re best shot is always very impressive Caroline and comes straight from the soul xxx

  • I can relate to 🤐 Mouth Shut . My Mum used to say if only you learned to Keep Your Mouth Shut (Bless Her) but that’s not what I was mouthing off at the time ! It was why ???! Didn’t I get a Mouth 👄 to Speak . Oh if it was only explained to me at the time 😏However I use it more wisely now I think 💭 😅 If it was only explained when it was Best to Say Nothing 😬 Or Zip It 🤐 Look they did what they did with the knowledge parents had at that time 😘 But I loved your Reminder. Love Light & Blessings 👌

    • Caroline Lennon-Nally
      2 years ago

      Thanks for visiting Angels Harbour. I can understand why this particular post might strike a chord with people regarding their parents. In my case, it was a real mixture of messages from family but more so the educational system at that time – it never struck me as a place where I’d be likely to flourish. The learning for me is that forgiveness is the antidote to all perceived hurts or wounds. Love and light to you too. Great to have you visit and really appreciate your comments. 🙏🏻

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